


Ten Long Years

by Kayla155



Series: Remember Pepperony Never dies [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayla155/pseuds/Kayla155
Summary: Prequel to To Take what Little We Deserve. After breaking up with Pepper Potts ten years ago, Tony Stark can't seem to get her out of his head and has gone into a spiral decline.
Relationships: Mary Parker/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Remember Pepperony Never dies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878721
Kudos: 4





	Ten Long Years

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song ‘Til I Hear You Sing from the musical, Love never dies: https://youtu.be/hWihKj5uGYk

_Ten long years_

**_Living a mere facade of life_ **

_Ten long years_

_Wasting my time on smoke and noise_

I was thinking back to time when I felt truly happy, ten years ago when Pepper was still with me. Ever since then all I had was my machines and Ironman. These past few years felt like agony without her to cheer me on yet I can't help feel I don't deserve her love after all that I had done. I was always so unreliable and a burden she had to carry for the sake of me and not her. She always determined to help me and better myself however I was just too much to handle.

_Night steals in pacing the floor_

_The moments creep_

**_Yet I can't bear to sleep_ **

_'Til I hear you sing_

In my dreams I still see her dancing in her midnight blue evening gown as we gazed into each other's eyes realizing the we love had. But those dreams morph into nightmares of the cold caves of Afghanistan and Obadiah taking the arc reactor out of my chest, bringing me to a panic as wake up from the horrors I gone through. Without her there my nights became extremely difficult not knowing how to sleep peacefully. It's not the same when I seek Friday to help, no matter how much I listen to the songs my mother used to play on the piano for me as a child. No matter how much whiskey or bourbon I drink, Pepper is gone and it's my fault.

**_Still you don't walk through the door_ **

_And in a haze_

_I count the silent days_

_'Til I hear you sing once more_

Sometimes when I'm in my lab I still feel that she would come through the door asking me if I had slept or eaten but then I quickly come back to reality knowing she left. This made me miss Pepper's warm presence that made my world whole again. An angel...no a goddess amongst undeserving mortals ready to save me from myself as if it was her mission to do so.

_And years come_

**_And years go_ **

_Time runs dry_  
  
It felt like a whole eternity after she left, I tried to move on Pepper with multiple girlfriends and spouses but none of them could satisfy me like her. Continuously in the tabloids, _Playboy Billionaire Tony Stark has another girlfriend_ , or some variation of that. However one woman who can close was Mary Fitzpatrick who I met nine years after I broke up with Pepper.  
  
She was beautiful with her long brunette hair in contrast to Pepper's strawberry blond and was a extremely intelligent scientist I had met at one of my conventions. After talking for a while, we went out to get a drink at a local bar and the next thing you know she was in my bed. In the time after our one night stand we had went out for almost a year and I was close to proposing to her. But that was until I had caught her try to steal data from my computer for Oscorp and I immediately threw her out with the help of security.

_“Mary, how could you ?”_

_“Did you really think I loved you, Stark ? I only used you to help Norman.”_

_“ No one could love someone as miserable as you”._

_Still I ache down to the core_

**_My broken soul_ **

_Can't be alive and whole_

_'Til I hear you sing once more_

This leads me to where I am now on the floor of my lab with a scotch on rocks in my hand after being used again and again, wondering if my life was destined to despair. Wondering if I will always end up hurting others and vice versa. Maybe this was the atonement for the many lives my weapons had killed and ruined.

" _Pepper was right to leave me, I ruin everything I touch",_ I thought to myself.

" _I should have just died in that cave",_ no longer feeling as if my life was worth living.

_Let hopes pass_

**_Let dreams pass_ **

_Let them die_  
  
  
When I go to park to find solace , I see children with their parents enjoying each other's company. I think to myself, _That could have been me and Pepper._ Maybe we could have had a child with my brown hair and her bright blue eyes and be happy to see their first crawl, walk, and hear them say mommy and daddy with joy in their voices. To see them go to school, make friends and possibly get married in the future. But I had let that opportunity pass with my insistence to her that I didn't want children in fear that I would end up as unloving and harsh as my father, Howard, as if he deserves that title.

“ _Daddy look what I drew”_

_“ Is that my suit”_

_“ You’re my hero, Daddy”_

_“Let’s show your mama”_

**_Without you, what are they for?_ **

_I'll always feel_

_No more than halfway real_

_'Til I hear you sing once more_  
  
That so called dream of being married with children is long gone without her here beside me. As I stopped staring at her picture on my desk above me, I had blacked out from the scotch hoping no one would find me and I would just be gone from the prison my life is. However in my alcohol induced state I felt someone calling out to me sounding like her but I knew in my heart I was just hallucinating.


End file.
